(Published in 'The Tart', 12 January 2009.)
St James' Palace issued an unreserved apology last night following remarks by Prince Harry derided by critics as 'sensitive' and 'sensible'.
In an as-yet-unpublished interview with the Prince conducted in Afghanistan, Harry was reported to have given a clear, concise and unbiased account of himself, and there was outrage at his failure to use racist or derogatory terms such as 'raghead' about the people who had been trying to kill him and his platoon.
His Royal Highness then referred to an Asian officer as, "my competent and esteemed friend, who is a member of an ethnic minority group", a remark which has shocked tabloid Royal-watchers.
Scumbag McRepublic, Royal Correspondent for The Sunday Sport, said, "It's disgusting. When a Royal Prince is being sensible, it just outrages public values. He should be living up to expectation - falling out of nighclubs drunk, wearing Nazi uniforms and being crass. This stupid act by the Prince means we'll now have to dredge up three-year-old events, misrepresent them and find people to be creatively offended. It's very inconsiderate of Harry".
In a statement, St James' Palace issued an unreserved apology for any surprise caused by the Prince saying something sensible, adding, "Harry has caused a lot of disappointment in the family with his remarks, which damages our perception in the tabloids. We plan to sit him down with his grandfather Prince Philip, who will teach him the necessary skills to cause the regular diplomatic incidents expected of a Windsor".
In an as-yet-unpublished interview with the Prince conducted in Afghanistan, Harry was reported to have given a clear, concise and unbiased account of himself, and there was outrage at his failure to use racist or derogatory terms such as 'raghead' about the people who had been trying to kill him and his platoon.
His Royal Highness then referred to an Asian officer as, "my competent and esteemed friend, who is a member of an ethnic minority group", a remark which has shocked tabloid Royal-watchers.
Scumbag McRepublic, Royal Correspondent for The Sunday Sport, said, "It's disgusting. When a Royal Prince is being sensible, it just outrages public values. He should be living up to expectation - falling out of nighclubs drunk, wearing Nazi uniforms and being crass. This stupid act by the Prince means we'll now have to dredge up three-year-old events, misrepresent them and find people to be creatively offended. It's very inconsiderate of Harry".
In a statement, St James' Palace issued an unreserved apology for any surprise caused by the Prince saying something sensible, adding, "Harry has caused a lot of disappointment in the family with his remarks, which damages our perception in the tabloids. We plan to sit him down with his grandfather Prince Philip, who will teach him the necessary skills to cause the regular diplomatic incidents expected of a Windsor".
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